Do you ever notice as a woman how many times a day we say sorry? We bump into someone and say sorry even when it isn’t our fault. Or we say something we really feel and then apologise when someone doesn’t like we’ve said. As women it’s almost like, sorry is an automated response for every decision, choice or action we take whether or not we should be sorry.
Don’t get me wrong we all mess up and when we do, we should bloody apologise where it impacts on someone or something in a way that is hurtful or wrong. I am all for taking ownership and accountability however why do we as women feel the need to apologise for everything….even going as far as for other people’s actions or decisions?!
Quite often when we apologise it’s like we are validating to the universe, or sometimes another individual, that we should be feeling guilty for the choices or decisions we’ve made. It weakens the strength of the original decision. Stand firm in your NO’s and embrace the power in this one word!
Here are some things you should never apologise for:
1. Needing alone time
I love, love, love my alone time and I make no apologies for it! Alone time is a necessity not a luxury especially if you’re a woman with a partner and/or a family. Alone time allows us to recharge our energy and reflect which is important for our mind, body and soul.
2. Speaking your mind
Those who respect you and value you, will value your thoughts and opinions whether they agree or like them, regardless. If you’ve never really been the kind of person who has spoken up before it can come as a shock to those who know you but it’s important you express your thoughts and feelings to ensure you’re being heard and your opinions are being voiced. Also prevents a volcano eruption of feelings with all the stuff you’ve not been saying.
3. Being yourself
Oooohhh!!! This is a biggie for me! Never, ever apologise for being you! I call people out on their shit and I don’t take shit….hence why I became a business owner because I was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. I am non-conformist and some people don’t like that, but I don’t care! You are you, and you are unique. Not everyone will like you…and that’s ok! That’s their problem not yours!
4. Taking time to respond to a message
Oh my gosh!! Technology is our best friend but wow, we are plugged in 24/7 these days with no restbite from it. People can access us all times of day and night these days so no wonder some of us feel overwhelmed, stressed and resentful. Here’s the thing, a message, a phone call or an email is a REQUEST for your time, not a demand. If you are in the middle of something, don’t have time or even better don’t feel like it, don’t respond until YOU’RE ready! It’s your right, no reason or excuse needed!
5. Your past mistakes
Anyone who says they’ve never made a mistake or messed up is a big fat liar! Everybody messes up and our mistakes quite often become our learnings, they can make us wiser, stronger and more resilient! Embrace them and own them, never be ashamed of your past, it brought you to where you are today and should be celebrated for the lessons it taught you.
6. Saying no
No is probably the most empowering thing you can say! As women we feel we have to be the care taker and giver to everyone and everything and all it does is leave us feeling burnout, tired and resentful. If you don’t want to do something or it doesn’t serve you to do it, say no! It’s your prerogative.
7. Telling the truth
No matter what the consequences are we should always tell the truth. It’s true what they say, the truth always comes out in the end. Telling the truth shows respect to that person and a situation as you’re giving it to them straight. Covering the truth, exaggerating or downplaying a situation only serves to temporarily halt the inevitable. Just be honest and upfront from the very beginning.
8. Doing well in life
Please, please, please never apologise for your successes, financial or otherwise. Whether you’ve worked hard, or were born privileged you should never be made to feel guilty by anyone for that. If people have an issue, that’s their issue. There are a lot of people out there who have a negative mind-set around money but again this is their problem. Never down play your financial situation just to make others feel better.
9. Choosing who you spend time with
Who you spend your time with is your prerogative and you should not have to apologise for not spending time with those you don’t want to. I hate to say it, but it’s the truth, there are some people in our lives who literally suck the life out of us, real life energy vampires! I appreciate some people have to be in our lives…especially when it’s the likes of family however limit the amount of time you spend with these people and you will notice a big difference in your mindset and energy around most things.
10. Living life on your own terms
When we live truly in alignment with our hearts and our heads, our soul sings! It takes a brave person to live life dictated by their own terms rather than others. I say brave because the majority of people live their life bound by the expectations of others and get to the end of their lives wishing they’d done things differently. No matter which way you live it, there will always be criticism and disappointment because you haven’t lived some else’s version of life. Just do you and you’ll never go wrong!
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