So what if you’re hard at work, working on your own money mindset and minding your own business, but you’re finding that you’re constantly at risk of having all your good work undone by those around you, be it your partner, family, friends or business partner or even random strangers!
I’m Dominique Mullally, a Money & Mindset Coach and in today’s video I’m going to give you some tips and tricks to help shield your hard work and stop those pesky negative nancy’s derailing your journey to financial success.
Or if you prefer to read the blog, here it is:
It can be hard work and demotivating if you’re busy upgrading your money mindset and your life only to find those around you are not so on board with your new way of thinking. It can feel for every 10 steps you take forward, you get pulled back 15.
No matter how hard you try and how positive you try to be, you have the naysayers and the negative nancy’s ready to burst your precious money bubble. It’s not fun and it can quickly suck the life out of you and cool off any traction or steam so lets look at how we can handle this.
Tip #1: Challenge them or shut them down
Now I know for some of us women this can be a hell no, no thanks, I’d rather sit in silence but the truth is that on your path to financial success there are going to be times where you’re going to have to put your foot down and either shut down a conversation or challenge their version of money reality. It’s ok to say to someone you love, be it your partner or your family and friends, hey I’m not ok with what you’re saying. Let them into your story and tell them you’re working really hard to change your money mindset and their negative views about money are not helping you…..or them.
The other option is to bring them into your journey by challenging them. I’m not talking being Rocky Balboa……..up in someone’s face……..but I’m talking about challenging them, diplomatically of course, on their views and opinions regarding money. Sometimes we’re so engrained in our beliefs and live them as gospel truth that we forget infact that those beliefs, may in fact be false. And when someone questions our belief it can force us to stop and think, sometimes that’s where the change begins. So don’t be afraid, just speak up!
Tip #2: Tighten your circle
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Ladies, this could not be any more true. Who you surround yourself with influences your mindset, your energy and how you live your life. I could go on and on about this topic all day because quite often we play it small, so we fit in…to others and their levels of comfort, but that’s for another time.
Just think about it this way, how many occasions have you spent time with that friend who just drains the life out of you…. they’re negative, the give you all the reasons something won’t work and you come away from your catch up feeling like you need a stiff drink and a lie down? We’ve all been there…………some of us still are. Now think about it from the other perspective, you catch up with someone who lights up from the inside out…. they inspire you, they’re supportive ……and you walk away feeling great and energised when you’re around them.
The trick to amazing things is by constantly upgrading your life, and that also includes the circle you surround yourself with. Now I’m not saying leave your partner or dump your friends, but you will find that as you upgrade your mindset and your life there will be those who are inspired and want to come with you, and unfortunately there will be some who are happy being a Debbie downer and will stay where there are. I’ve been there, I’ve had to let go of people who I thought were great friends……until I got happy…which in turn made them uncomfortable. Sometimes as we grow we can outgrow people and I want you to know that’s ok! I’m not saying it’s easier, and it can be painful but at the same time, when it’s right, it can feel like a weight has been lifted, almost like a relief.
So if you’re not yet surrounded by enough of these positive inspiring people, I’d recommend you join a mastermind of likeminded people, network and find people who have already upgraded their mindset and their life.
Tip #3: Take responsibility
Only you can be responsible for your life, and your money choices. Don’t allow someone else’s issues about money become your issues about money. Just because someone else feels a certain way about money doesn’t mean you have to adopt the same views. Whilst your early experiences certainly shaped your beliefs and habits around money, you know once you start earning your own money, you have to take responsibility for choices and the habits that you make as you move forward.
Our past money stories and that notice I say past, can hold our future money story hostage until we begin to address our parts in these stories. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So today is all about taking back responsibility for your thoughts and your words.
Look at your story, where are you placing the blame or who’s blame are you adopting? Write down you money story, what are some of the things you believe. Are they your beliefs or are they borrowed from parents, grandparents, teachers or partners? Reframe them in a positive light or find ways you can challenge and discredit them.