At times the word No is my best friend. It’s comforting, empowering and supportive. I know, hear me out you probably think I’m crazy but the sense of self that comes from saying no is a powerful thing.
You know it’s hard being a women in comparison to a man. No I’m not here to hate on men but the reality is there are so many more expectations placed on women than there ever are women.
Ok I’m going to generalise here but usually we cook, we clean, take care of the house, the kids, our partner, the parents, try to make time for the kids and their hobbies, make time for our partner, for friends……………and try and run a bloody business! It’s exhausting!!!
I’m guessing at times you find yourself caught in a constant trap of too much to do, not enough time? And I know at times you swing between feeling overwhelmed or on top of it, happy or guilt ridden, inspired and can’t be arsed!
You are definitely not alone!
As women we….. and society conditioning….have us believe and subsequently puts so much pressure on us to be everything to everyone. I tell you in the next life I’m coming back as a man ha ha!
So lets look at some of the ways you can learn to make No your very best friend:
1. Acknowledge that you have a choice
Nobody can every make you do something you don’t want to really do, it’s simply impossible….unless you have a gun to you head…then the struggle might be real.
You might be feeling stretched because you’re saying yes to virtually every request that comes your way. I get it, it can be hard when you are juggling 50 different balls and then on top of that it feel everyone wants a piece of your time. Start by prioritising your time and being picky who you spend it with. Have a look at your responsibilities both in your business and your life, can any of these be outsources? Do you have older kids that can pick up some of the chores around the house? Also in this day and age we’re more accessible that every before it’s very easy to get sucked into people and their drama’s. Make a list of your priorities and responsibilities or your commitments over the coming weeks. Have a look, where can you outsource these or ask for help? Take the pressure off yourself, are there some commitments you can say no to? Remember you have a choice!
2. Say no and own it
It is your right to say no. As women we can be our own worst enemy at times as we can say yes to something or someone simply because we worry people will think we’re selfish or a bitch or we end up feeling guilty.
Whether that guilt is real or not is something to be questioned. Are we feeling guilty for the right reasons or the wrong reasons? We feel that in order to say no we have to justify our reasons. In doing so you are validating the guilt and lessening the strength in your reasons for saying no.
When saying yes to someone or something, ask yourself this, by saying yes to this, am I saying no to myself? If the answer is yes to yourself….then the final answer to them should be no! Never compromise yourself to the point it is detrimental to you and your needs.
3. Know the difference between true and false guilt
One of the biggest emotions we as women feel is guilt. Quite often, it can be our feelings of guilt that will sabotage progress in our business or ensure we put ourselves to the very bottom of the list.
So what is it with us women? It’s like, when we say no… an automated trigger of guilt kicks in. Well part of it is social conditioning and part of it is ingrained or inbuilt in us as our role as the caregiver.
Here’s the thing there are two types of guilt…. No I’m not crazy, hear me out! There is such a thing as True and False guilt.
True guilt is the negative feelings we have when we cause others real pain. False guilt, on the other hand, is a negative feeling triggered by not living up to standards that are unrealistic, put on us by others or because of things outside of our control.
So next time you say no and the guilt trigger kicks in, ask yourself is this guilt true……or is it false? Remember unless you are causing someone actual pain…..most of the time the guilt we feel isn’t real!
So do you have any tips and tricks you can share with us regarding today’s topic, if so comment below. Feel to share this blog on your social media or if you know of a friend who may benefit from hearing the things we talk about please share with them.